In this presentation, I'd like to explore with you how we can use unusual language, creative words, and imaginative ways to create meaningful relationships with clients that will lead to larger sales. Through the simple power of words, we can influence the reaction that we can expect from our clients, creating the specific response that we're after, to generate the results that we desire.

I delivered a shorter version of this speech on the Main Platform at last year's Annual Meeting in Vancouver and have been asked to expand on some of those ideas.

So here's my first question: What have you done with the ideas that you learned? Remember, I urged at the end of that speech that the next time you are communicating with your clients, you give extra attention to the words you use and the emotions they create. And always remember that the power of words influences the reaction, the response, and the results.

It's funny that we think that hearing a speaker at MDRT will change our lives and have a dramatic influence on what we do. And that's true—it can. But a presenter is doing a deal with the audience. We are giving away our best ideas because we genuinely want to help our fellow MDRT members succeed and grow. The only benefit I get from doing this is the joy of hearing of your success. But the other part of the deal is that you must take an idea that you like and use it. Otherwise, what was the point? That it was just entertainment? You don't travel at great expense across the world just for entertainment.

I know of people who have heard me speak and then re-listened to a CD or read the manuscript 20 times to fully understand and appreciate what had been said. And as a result, they have gone from being a qualifying MDRT member to Top of the Table in just one year.

So my speech comes with a guarantee. The guarantee is simply that if you like an idea, if you really, really like an idea, and you don't use it, it won't work!

We're going to include some of the ideas from last year's speech and add in many more. I'm also going to use some ideas I have presented before, such as the elevator pitch, because many who have heard it can use this as an opportunity to practice and improve their script.

Let's start with a core question: What do people want?

You see, it used to be that people wanted the best advisor possible. But now, because of raised qualifications, compliance, and regulation, we all must be competent at what we do, so best is not what they are looking for. What our prospects value is someone who is different. Someone who can do what everyone else does but does it differently. Someone who understands that it is absolutely not about selling products but about developing lifetime relationships. If we can do that, then the products will sell themselves. One of the ways in which we can differentiate ourselves is through the use of creative language.

So here's my first practical idea, which is a great example of how changing the words that we use can influence the reaction we get. Have you ever been on a long journey, on a bus or a train or a plane, and all you want to do is quietly read a book, but there is someone sitting next to you who just wants to chat? Here's what you do. The night before you are traveling—perhaps if you are taking a flight—get on your computer and design a dust jacket for your book, and give your book a new title. The title of your book will now be How to Sell Life Insurance to People on Airplanes. I guarantee that you will not be disturbed!

When two strangers meet, after they have perhaps asked, "How are you?" and "Where did you come from?" one might say to the other, "What do you do?"

Of course, it is one of the most common questions known to man.

Have you ever been asked, "What do you do?" Do you think you will ever be asked again, "What do you do?" And do you think this is a question that you will continue to be asked for the rest of your working life? And who has rehearsed the answer? Very few. How strange.

Of course, it is normal human behavior to be inquisitive about what other people do. It is also an easy question to start a conversation with. The problem is that most people have not sufficiently thought about the answer they give. Isn't that bizarre? Here's a question we know will come up, in some way or other, on an almost daily basis, yet most of us have not rehearsed the answer, in terms of the impact of what words we use, the reaction that it creates, the response it might lead to, to deliver the result we desire.

Let me share an example of what I mean.

Let's say we are meeting at a party and my occupation is that of a garbage collector. You say to me, "What do you do?" and I reply, "I'm a garbage collector." I imagine that most of you would then say, "Really . . . is that the time? I have a really important meeting in the restroom." If, however, you ask me, "What do you do?" and I reply, "Well, I'm a facilitating executive in the waste management profession," you might then say, "That's interesting. Tell me more." It's the same job but a different way of saying it. Changing the words influences the reaction, leads to a specific response, and delivers a different result.

How could we apply this power of words to our business? When making your first appointment, how many of you say that the first meeting is free? Some of you. How many say nothing about the cost or price of the first meeting? In my opinion, saying nothing is worse than saying it's free, as it not only leaves an important question unanswered but misses an opportunity to create value.

What value do we create when we say something is free? None. What we're really implying when we say that the first meeting is free is a subliminal message that says, "I don't really have any value; I'm not worth very much. I'm prepared to give you my time for nothing."

So, when we get clients canceling appointments, what they're really feeling is, It doesn't matter if I don't show up; his time is free. Is what you do for your clients valuable? Do your clients get huge benefits from talking to you? Are you worth talking to? So let's demonstrate that confidence. Starting tomorrow morning, I want you to have a greater sense of confidence and self-belief and self-worth, and, instead of saying that the first meeting is free or, even worse, saying nothing, change one word. Instead, say with confidence that "the first meeting is at my expense," because it is, isn't it, in some way or another, in terms of time, travel, or the cost of a cup of coffee even?

You see, changing the words to It's at my expense is self-empowering. What we're really saying is "I'm worth something. I have a value. And I'm willing to share it with you." There's an immediate and profound change of dynamic in the relationship that takes place when we say this, because it takes advantage of something called the power of reciprocity. The power of reciprocity says, "If I do something for you, you will feel like you should do something for me. If I invite you to dinner at my house, you will feel, one day, that you should invite me to dinner at yours." Does that make sense?

If I'm prepared to give you something at my expense, it implies that there's a value that I'm giving you. It further suggests—and this is a good feeling to put into a client's mind—that if the first meeting is at my expense, then the next one is, in some way, at yours. This simple change of words influences the reaction we get, leads to a different response, and generates the results we desire—that of creating value.

Perhaps, if we understand the psychology of the buying process, we can better understand what words might influence behavior. We should recognize that people buy with emotion and justify with logic.

But what does that actually mean? Let's say that you're going shopping for a new outfit—a new suit or a new dress—and you have a budget in mind of, say, $200. When you arrive at the store, do you go straight to the rack of $200 suits? Or do you take a look around to see what else might be there? How many people look around? Virtually everyone. It's human nature to look around the store.

And what happens when you find an outfit that's maybe $300, $400, or even $500, but you really, really like it? What happens to the budget? It disappears, doesn't it? Who's ever done that? We all do that. And when we get home, we put the outfit on, look in the mirror, and then justify the emotional decision with the logic that we made a really good purchase! Have you ever done that? My friends, I even did that with a car. I went to buy a certain car, but when I got to the showroom I saw another one that I liked that was 50 percent more, but I really liked it, so I bought that one. To put that in some context, I don't even drive! I do 2,000 miles a year. I go by train to my office in Central London, but that demonstrates the power of strong emotion in its ability to influence our decisions.

What might that mean when we're talking to prospects or clients who say to you, "I can't afford that product, that premium, or your fee," but we know that they really can? What they're really saying to us is "I don't have enough emotional attachment to what you're telling me." We know that if there was enough emotional attachment, the budget would not be the issue. The words we use are important in creating sufficient emotional attachment to influence behavior and decisions.

I think that a representative of BMW attended one of my presentations, because recent BMW advertising has fully understood the need to use emotional language to encourage people to buy its cars.

Car advertising used to be about the features and benefits of the vehicle, the safety, the design, the comfort, the speed, the economy, and so on. BMW changed that by using language that appealed to people's emotions. Its advertising says that it doesn't make cars; it makes joy. Do you get joy from driving your car? I do . . . or at least I would if I drove it!

Let's take a look at one of its advertisements. I'd like you to listen carefully to what is being said, particularly close to the end. [video]

The narrator for BMW said, "We realized a long time ago that what you make people feel is just as important as what you make." Do you think that this sentence could equally apply to our business? Absolutely it does. It's not about the features or benefits of our products; it's how people feel by owning our products. We need to understand this core and fundamental point about the psychology of sales. If we can master this, then we never need to sell anything; we just help people buy something they want.

Let's test how you use emotion-based language to persuade people. I'm going to ask you carry out an interactive exercise with a partner by using what I call the "elevator conversation." Choose a partner, and decide who will be the advisor and who will be the prospect. Here's the setup:

Imagine that the advisor and the prospect are both on the ground floor of a 100-story hotel. The advisor's bedroom is on the 100th floor, and the prospect's is on the 50th floor. As you both get on the elevator on the ground floor, the prospect asks the advisor the dreaded question: "So what do you do?" The advisor now has about 60 seconds to introduce himself or herself to the prospect but in such an interesting way, and with such style and energy, that this person does not want to get off at the 50th floor, but instead wants to stay in the elevator up to the 100th floor because he or she is filled with intrigue.

Now, think carefully about the answer that the advisor gave. If you were the prospect listening to the advisor, based on what was being said and how it was being said, how did the advisor make you feel? Remember, this exercise is all about how you make people feel. Did you feel interested? Did you want to know more? Was there enthusiasm and energy and confidence? What was the body language like? Did the advisor use his or her hands expressively, and was there passion in the advisor's eyes? Did the advisor say anything different from what you would expect? How did you feel? Did you feel that you didn't want to get off at the 50th floor but wanted to know more and wanted to follow the advisor to the 100th floor? Or did you think, This is so boring. Where's the button for floor 10? I'm getting off and walking the rest of the way!

If you were the advisor, based upon what you said and how you said it, how do you think you made your prospect feel? Be honest with yourself. Would you have been excited based on what you said and how you said it? Do you believe that you said anything significantly different?

Why is this important? Simply, we only get one chance to capture people's imagination. And we don't know, we simply don't know, whether the next person we meet could become the biggest client we have ever had; we only have a few moments to capture his or her imagination and get that person to say, or at least to think, That's interesting, tell me more.

Now that I have you thinking, would you be interested in knowing what I would say in a similar circumstance? I'll share with you how I introduce myself, but as I do so, I'll pause and explain why I say certain things, to explore the impact the words make. It is not necessary that I use all of this in such a situation, but I want to give you the complete script; usually, I would shorten it in real life. Most importantly, what I'd like you to do is to think about how you are feeling as I say what I am about to say. So let's imagine that this room is one huge elevator, and I want everyone to shout out loudly, "What do you do?"

I then would say, "Well, thank you for asking." Let's pause here immediately. How many people said that during the exercise? Yet, how did you feel when I said it? It's a simple appreciation, but it already means that I'm different, and you feel I may be someone you might like. Let's start again.

"What do you do?"

"Well, thank you for asking. I love what I do. I'm really excited about what I do for my clients. I have the best job in the world!"

Let's pause again. Who loves what they do? Who thinks that they have the best job in the world? Did you tell your prospect that? How many used passionate words such as love and excitement when introducing yourself? If we want to engage a prospect into our world, wouldn't it help if we showed some belief, some passion, in what we do? You see, most people, when they are asked, "What do you do?" answer that they regret what they do and wish that they were doing something else!

So, if you love what you do, why not tell people that? It immediately differentiates you from those who dislike what they do. And our prospect will only care if we do.

Let's start again.

"What do you do?"

"Well, thank you for asking. You see, I love what I do, and I'm really excited about what I do for my clients. I have the best job in the world, because I'm a financial architect." At this pause, I'm going to tell you that I'm also a mind reader, because I know exactly what you are all thinking: What does that mean? Which is a good thing to be thinking. So let's do this one last time, and this time you can ask me, "What does that mean?"

"What do you do?"

"Well, thank you for asking. You see, I love what I do, and I'm really excited about what I do for my clients. I have the best job in the world, because I'm a financial architect. I help my clients design and create their financial home. This home will represent their future dreams and aspirations, each room perhaps representing a personal goal or ambition. Then, and only then, will I look for the right financial furniture to furnish their home, the financial furniture to give them comfort so that their goals and aspirations for their family will be achieved. What we find is that most clients come to us having bought some financial furniture elsewhere and, over the years, have accumulated different types of furniture, but none of it with any strategy or coherency. This is bizarre; you wouldn't buy furniture before you buy a home, would you? Yet people meet me with a briefcase full of financial furniture. So I take a look at the financial furniture that clients have bought and see if it fits into the financial home that we've designed together. If it fits, we'll keep it. But if it doesn't, we'll try to improve it or upgrade it if it is no longer suitable; you know, you wouldn't necessarily put antique furniture in a modern contemporary house, would you? And, over time, just like a house needs good maintenance to keep it in good order, so does the financial home. As time passes, my clients' lives will change, as will their goals and aspirations. At such times, we will review the design of their financial home and see if it needs any alterations, which is a little like building an extension on a home, or update their financial furniture. Occasionally, their circumstances will change so dramatically that we'll need to redesign a new financial home. We intend to be with the clients throughout each of these stages, as their maintenance engineers also."

Now, let's analyze that presentation. Based upon what I said and how I said it, how did I make you feel?

Did you also notice that I did not once mention any product yet as you would have known what I was talking about? This is an example of what I mean by being different.

By the way, I'm certainly not suggesting that everyone be a financial architect—that would be very boring! What I am suggesting is that you find an analogy that works for you and adopt it. For example, I have friends who call themselves a financial doctor or a financial pilot or a financial coach or a financial concierge. There are so many ways of describing what we do, but we must apply our minds to it. We have to put the effort in.

As an example, some time ago I shared this script in India, and, a year or so later, I met a girl at an MDRT meeting who had heard me speak and said that she really enjoyed it, particularly the financial architect script. So I asked her what she had done with it, and she said, "Nothing." I reminded her of my guarantee. She said to me that it wouldn't work in India. I was surprised and said, "Does India not have any architects? How did they build the Taj Mahal? With no drawings or plans, did they just throw a few pieces of marble together and say, 'That looks good'?" But I also told her that she was missing the point. It is not about copying what I or any other speaker says but adapting it for yourself.

I asked her if she had any hobbies, and she said that she played music in an orchestra. So, immediately, I came up with a script for her. To differentiate herself, I said that she could call herself a financial conductor, her job being to design and create the music of people's lives, the tune that would represent their dreams and aspiration, each note perhaps representing a particular goal or objective. But only after designing someone's financial tune does she then look for the right financial instruments to play that music. She came up with a silly excuse because she had not bothered to try. Please don't let that be you.

And when you do make the effort to try this, you can create some tremendous results. I have an advisor friend in Singapore who is a fitness fanatic and heard me speak at a conference. He completely redesigned his business proposition and now describes himself as a financial fitness coach. He says, "I will help you design and create your financial fitness program to help you build financial muscle and lose financial fat." He explains, "When you go to a gym, there is so much equipment there, it can be overwhelming. It must all be useful in some way, but the key is knowing what equipment to use, how to use it, and when and for what. As your financial fitness coach, I will help you make sense of the financial fitness equipment so that you only use the right equipment for the right purpose at the right time, building financial muscle, such as investments, or losing financial fat, such as debt."

The real message here is that every one of you could create a script or brand of your own, but only if you put your mind to it. It will not happen automatically. With your friends, help each other create a script, starting from what your hobbies or interests are. Although I am flattered if you do, try not to copy "financial architect"; think of your own.

Let's now explore some more ways in which we could change some of the words we use relating to things that happen to us every day. In other words, I call this the "art of communication," that is, make sure that people understand what we are talking about. Here is a clip from a famous British TV comedy, Fawlty Towers. In this clip, Basil Fawlty, the hotel owner, is trying to communicate with his Spanish waiter, Manuel, and not quite getting the words right. [video]

We've talked about how to change our introduction, but how about changing the way that we talk about products or the way that we describe them? This starts, however, with asking good questions.

Clearly, these aspects are core. We've got to talk to the right people, ask good, open questions, and use unusual language in those questions and in the responses we use to the questions we are asked.

An example of such a question could be: "What do you look for in the relationship with a financial advisor?"

Getting deeper into clients' expectations allows us to tailor the solution as part of the ongoing relationship. The question is very important as clients are effectively telling us what they want from us, and we must listen very carefully to the answer. Clients are telling us the rules by which they want to work with us, and we have to be clear in our ability to deliver it . . . or not.

Clients set the standards, and we must adhere to them or manage their expectations otherwise.

In some extreme cases, it might also help identify clients who have unreasonable expectations or have dealt with a previous advisor unfairly and might potentially cause us trouble at some time in the future.

We must set up clear systems to avoid such problems. Or if there is genuine concern on our part that clients are more trouble than they are worth, we must make a decision to forgo the sale. That is not easy, but how many agents have customers they wish they had never had? Whose fault is that?

Let's spend our time with profitable customers who value and appreciate what we do and will say good things about us to others.

I explain to my clients that I want to work with them before one of my competitors does. I say, "My competitors are death, disability, and illness, and you and I simply don't know if and when one of those will come to visit you. May I see you first?"

This is an interesting play on words as the client's first reaction will be, Why I would want to talk about other insurance agents! By twisting the definition of "competitors," we gain an upper hand in the conversation.

This is also an important feature of the power of words. We can use words in an unusual way, in a way that is not expected, to lead and control a conversation.

Let's look at some examples of how we can talk about life insurance without mentioning the word insurance. I'm a firm believer in using concepts to get the message across, whereas many advisors get straight into the discussion of how life insurance works and the premium cost. Remember, the words we use will set the emotions to influence the reaction and create the response we want, to deliver the reaction we desire.

I also want to talk about how we can use life insurance for more than just family protection; it can also be used as a tool for enhancing a client's financial legacy. This is particularly useful for advising wealthy people, who may not need life insurance to provide family protection.

When I want to discuss life insurance with clients, I ask them if they have created a family trust yet. Their response is usually "What do you mean?"

I explain that what I do for clients is to create family trusts that will last generations and that these trusts can be used for many different purposes. But most of my clients don't have the ability to fund large trusts, so we set up leveraged trusts where, for every dollar that is paid, the trust will have a guaranteed multiple value of that. Then I ask, "Can I show you how that might work for you?"

Of course, what leverages money without a loan and can last generations? Life insurance, of course! But what sounds more appealing? A discussion of life insurance or a discussion of creating a family trust?

By the way, if you are not using trusts to hold your life insurance policies in, then you are missing a big trick and, in my humble opinion, not finishing the job. In the UK, for example, a life insurance policy in trust only needs a death certificate provided to the insurer in order to pay a claim instead of waiting for probate to be granted. Furthermore, it keeps the claim proceeds out of the estate for inheritance tax purposes. If you are not using trusts, you are leaving gaps for a competitor to change the policy. In fact, I talked earlier about being different, and it's a challenge talking about something as straightforward as life insurance in a different way. I'll explain a little more about using trusts creatively in just a moment.

If you do not get involved in trusts yourself, then work with someone who does, either within your firm or alongside a lawyer who can write them for you. This is evidence of professionalism and sets us apart from other advisors who fail to talk about it because it is too complicated, perhaps because they would rather spend time on making another sale. But if we want our business to grow and have no competition, then I urge you to understand more about trusts and the tax benefits of them.

For example, I ask my clients if they have considered their bloodline planning. Again, they may ask, "What do you mean?" This is always a good question to get clients to say.

I explain to them that bloodline planning is about keeping together what they work so hard to put together. And it is not just so that their wealth is passed to their children, but that it lasts generations.

I might say, "Allow me to explain, and in doing so, I'm going to make some assumptions. Some of these are a little uncomfortable, so may I have your permission to talk about some real-life events?" Notice the use of that word permission. By asking for permission, we are now able to say almost anything we like. Too many of us are worried about talking about death, but by asking for permission, we can discuss anything. I do laugh when I hear the words that some advisors use when talking about death. I once heard an advisor say to his client, "When you've gone to a better place." What does that mean? I'm happy where I am—tell me where this better place is? And if it's really better, why don't I get there sooner?

I get a piece of paper and I draw the couple at the top of the page. This is the two of them, and the first assumption I am going to make is that, one day, they will both be either in a box or an urn; I guess that's not even an assumption; that's a guarantee. We're all going to leave the planet one day. Notice the words being used to replace the word dead or death: in a box or leave the planet. No one can disagree with this. I still don't understand how a box or an urn is a better place, but apparently to some people it is.

I then explain that my further assumption is that at that time, other than donations or gifts they make to others or to charities or churches, they want their wealth to pass down to their children. Isn't that right? Of course, it is.

As I am talking, I draw a red line down the center of the page and stick drawings of their children on one side of it. I then connect the couple to their children with an arrow to show the wealth passing down. I explain that I am not talking about gifts they might make during their own lifetime but assets that they want to pass down after they have passed.

I now want to make some further assumptions. Let's assume that one day his or her daughter is going to get married. I draw a partner on the other side of the red line and connect the daughter and the partner. Then I ask, "Which one of them will die first? Of course, we don't know, but if your daughter was to die young, then all the wealth you left her would pass to her husband. So the wealth that you created has now passed to someone outside your bloodline, whereas I assume that you would have wanted to ensure that it either stayed with her children, if any, or to your other children. Instead, it has gone elsewhere forever."

Now, I am conscious that in different countries there are different rules regarding the passing of wealth down generations, so it is the concept and principles that I want you to understand and then adapt to your country's laws.

Let's take their son and the assets they pass to him on their demise. And let's make an assumption that he also gets married. I draw another partner on the other side of the line and connect the son and his partner. I say to the client, "Now, can you absolutely, 100%, without question, guarantee to me that that line could never be severed through divorce? Of course, you can't; we hope it never happens, but it might. Do you know anyone who has ever been divorced? We all do. But what happens to the wealth that you left to your son? Half of it goes to his ex-spouse. Half of the wealth that you left him that you wanted to continue down the generations has suddenly disappeared. And she could get married again, perhaps to the person who caused the divorce! I have ways in which I can protect this.

"Let's take a look at your third child, who turns out to be an entrepreneur and goes into business and borrows some money, but the business fails and his creditors want their money; again, the wealth that you wanted to pass down to your grandchildren and beyond has disappeared.

"Finally, whatever you leave your children will have estate taxes on it when they pass.

"These are things that happen in life; they are real-life events. My job is to protect your assets so that they pass down and will not be subject to attack by these events on the wrong side of the bloodline. Instead of passing your wealth directly, I set up family trusts, which receive the proceeds of life insurance tax free. That money can then never be attacked by anyone on the other side of the bloodline.

"So when you leave the planet, the insurance pays a lump sum of money into trusts for each of your children; they can be the trustees of the trust and the beneficiaries, but they only take benefits by way of interest-free loans from the trust, which puts a debt on their estate, which also reduces the value of their estate when they die, saving inheritance taxes down the generations.

"Now, if your daughter dies before her husband, the proceeds can go only to other members of the family on this side of the bloodline.

"If your son gets divorced, his ex-spouse can have no claim over the assets of the trust; they belong to the trust, not to him.

"If your other son's business fails, then creditors have no claim over the assets of the trust."

Now, if someone asks me what I do, I can answer that I love what I do, that I have the best job in the world and I protect wealth through bloodline planning. That will definitely generate a "That's interesting; tell me more" response.

What we are seeing here is that life insurance has uses other than just protecting families against early death or disability. It is a wealth transfer tool to sustain and preserve wealth. How about answering the "What do you do?" question with "I create robust wealth transfer strategies."

Perhaps, therefore, a good question to ask a client is "What do you intend your financial legacy to be?" It is a leading question and allows us to consider the best use of life insurance as part of that legacy. I consider life insurance to be the best savings plan in the world, not because of any investment element but for several other main reasons. First, it delivers money at the time that people need it. Isn't that the ideal definition of a good investment? Second, it's another way of answering "What do you do?" with "I deliver money at the time people need it."

Third, used in the correct way, it will always pay out more than you pay in, and, again, if we use a trust in a tax-efficient way, it doesn't then suffer any estate taxes, and also reinforces the intergenerational bloodline planning we create.

Let's consider some more unusual words or language that we could use, particularly when talking about estate planning. Instead of talking about inheritance tax, I say to my clients, "Do you realize that you have a debt on your estate?" They might reply, "No, I've paid off all my mortgages and loans, and I don't owe anything to anyone." I say, "Sure, I understand, but you still have one more debt to pay the moment you leave the planet and that's your debt to the government for the privilege of having a life and as a penalty for creating wealth."

In the UK, that debt is 40 percent of what you are worth. I never call it a tax. Indeed, I may express it in other ways. For example, let's say that you have a portfolio of 10 properties. Do you realize that four of them are not actually yours? You are just holding them currently on behalf of the government, which wants them from your children when you die. The government is just letting you have the honor of collecting rent on its properties and, oh, and paying some tax to it out of that too. It's really like you're the letting agent for the tax man and your fee is a share of the rent you collect for your efforts.

I get a sheet of paper, and on the top right-hand side I draw a box and say, "Let's put it another way. If you want to leave $1 million to your children, you actually have to leave them $1.67 million of assets, because standing between you and your children is the tax man, who says, 'Please pay me 40 percent of whatever you're going to pass down.' How do you feel about that?"

Remember, it's all about how we make people feel, and all these words are deliberately chosen to create a particular emotion—contempt of the tax man!

So what I do for my clients is to create a prefunded trust. Sitting inside this trust is $666,666 so that their children have the funds to pay the debt to the tax man when the clients die and the children can enjoy the entire wealth left to them. Clients don't put this money inside the trust; I arrange for the monies to be set aside for them through the company I work for. All that the company asks is that clients pay a small annual servicing fee to keep the trust open. As long as they pay the annual fee, the funds are guaranteed to be there in the trust for their children to use. Furthermore, the total fee they will pay over the rest of their lives will always be less than the monies set aside for them inside the prefunded trust. Let's take a look at what the fee is.

I show clients a prepared spreadsheet that shows how long they would have to pay the servicing fee before it exceeds the value in the prefunded trust. In many cases, it is when they are well over age 100.

This is true wealth preservation, and, of course, the prefunded trust is a whole-of-life policy and the servicing fee is the premium.

Once clients understand this concept, I take it a step further. I explain that the prefunded trust is also a legacy enhancer. I explain that keeping their estate to pass down will always have a debt upon it, whereas the prefunded trust creates an estate that is not subject to any debt and also takes advantage of the bloodline planning that we had talked about earlier.

Effectively, therefore, over and above what they need to truly enjoy their lifestyle, what is the point of accumulating more wealth that will always have a 40 percent debt on it? The paradigm shift of thinking is to spend all their wealth during their lifetime for their own enjoyment and leave a legacy through the prefunded trust. I say to the clients, "Let's take the same sketch as before and change some of the numbers. This time, I am leaving $1 million in the trust, which we have agreed is the same as leaving $1.67 million in the bank. This means that you can spend the entire $1.67 million on yourself, after carving out enough for the annual servicing fee, and will not be depriving your children of their legacy." This concept takes some explaining, but when clients understand that they are only worth 60 percent of what they think are, then they understand that it makes sense to spend their estate during their lifetime while setting aside funds toward a prefunded trust.

Something else you could say is that the servicing fee is effectively tax-relievable, as whatever is paid to it will not suffer the inheritance tax on it. That is, of every $1,000 they were going to leave their children, they would only have seen $600. Therefore, a premium, or servicing fee, of $1,000 only really costs the family $600.

This takes a few explanations for clients to understand as it is a completely different way of thinking. But once they get it, I get questions such as "Can I have two of those prefunded trusts?" or "I could even afford three."

This is a truly creative use of words and creates opportunities to give our clients superb and competitor-free holistic advice around one of our core products.

We all know that referrals are the best source of new clients. But the problem I find is that many advisors ask the wrong question; they use the wrong words. They will say something like, "So, if you're happy with what I have done for you, who else do you know who might also benefit from my advice?" It's not a bad question and certainly better than not asking it at all, but the problem with that question is that it is not specific enough, and, if anything, all it does is move our business sideways. That is, our clients will think that we want more clients like them and will introduce us to people who earn the same level of income as they do, but we may wish to move upmarket to higher value clients. A better question would be "So if you are happy with what I have done for you, I would be grateful if you would be willing to help my business grow by facilitating introductions to people who could benefit from what I do. If you're happy to do that, may I ask you, 'Who's the most successful person you know?'"

This unusual twist to the question will cause an interesting thing to happen. People don't think of success as being someone who can, say, run faster than they can; they simply think of success as people who make more money than they do or have a bigger house or a better car or a better job. These are the people we want to be in front of. For example, if you typically work with people earning, say, $40,000 a year, you'll find that they typically hang out with people who also earn at a similar income level. If you ask them simply, "Who do you know?" they will refer you to their similar friends. But if you ask them, "Who's the most successful person you know?" they will know someone who earns, say, $60,000 to $80,000 a year. And, then, when we have done business with that person, we should ask that person the same question, who will know someone who earns $100,000 to $150,000. We continue to ask the same question until we have reached a level where millionaires are referring other millionaires; in fact, don't ask millionaires who the most successful person they know is as it's probably themselves!

Once they give us a name, we should then ask, "And would you be comfortable in facilitating an introduction to John?" These words are carefully chosen. Would you be comfortable recognizes that, although our client knows John, he or she may not be willing to introduce him to us. In which case, we ask, "Who's the next most successful person you know?" Facilitating an introduction means that we want the client involved in making the connection, not just in giving us a name and phone number.

When talking to business owners, we need to find different ways of saying straightforward things.

By the way, never, ever, say to business owners that you can make more money for them than they can. That is one of the worst unintended insults that we could give a hardworking entrepreneur! Indeed, I say that, in my experience, people like the client are very good at what they do but are so busy doing what they are good at that they do not have the time to manage the money that they are so good at making!

Notice the deliberate repetition and reinforcement of the entrepreneur's expertise, which is another way of using words creatively. I continue, "I'm not going to suggest that I can make more money than you do, but through my expertise in taxation, legislation, and actuarial principles, I can do things that you can't do." Notice how I am saying things that the entrepreneur cannot argue with, yet sound quite compelling, so that he or she will want to have a meeting with me to find out more. I am not saying that I can make more than the entrepreneur makes; I am saying that I can do things that he or she has never heard of.

When in front of a business owner, I use the following idea, which leads the business owner to think in a different way. First, I ask what the company's annual revenue is. I then do some mental arithmetic in the following way, and I will end up with a very useful figure. Let's say that the company's revenue is about $1 million per annum. "OK," I say. "That's about $80,000 per month, or about $20,000 per week. Does that sound about right?" After the business owner answers, I will continue: "Tell me, if your annual revenue went up by 2 percent next year, is that enough reason for a celebration? Would it make you open a bottle of champagne?" "No, that's no big deal," the business owner will reply. "OK. And if your revenue went down by 2 percent next year, would that be a disaster and cause your business difficulty?" "No, that would be also irrelevant to me."

We have now established two very useful facts. First, doing some easy math by dividing the business's annual revenue by 12 and then by 4 arrived at a number that conveniently equates to 2 percent of the annual revenue, which is $20,000. Second, doing it in this way, we have already confirmed that spending $20,000 (one week of revenue) will have no major impact on the business, and the business owner would not even notice it. I now know that this is my target, and I have now decided that I have a right to $20,000 of the business owner's annual revenue as an annual premium! There are many ways in which we could now go, and one simple question could be to say, "Well, 2 percent of your annual revenue is about one week's worth of revenue. Given that you've confirmed that this is largely irrelevant, would it make sense to you if I used that one week of revenue to protect 52 weeks of income?"

Let me share another use of the power of words by changing something we see almost every day.

Many people will have done some kind of borrowing, perhaps a mortgage or a business loan. I ask my clients if this loan is a self-canceling loan. "What do you mean?" they will always ask. I explain that a self-canceling loan will extinguish itself in the event of death or a serious illness. I then explain that if the loan is at an interest rate of 5 percent, it makes sense to have it at 5.5 percent and be self-canceling. Clearly, a life and critical illness policy will convert the loan to self-canceling; all that I have done is reframe the premium as being interest on the loan.

A good example of changing the language and getting a different response could be the fact that many advisors will eventually, if they write enough life insurance, end up with a case that is rated, or loaded, as we call it in the UK, that is, where the premium has been accepted at a higher rate than we originally quoted.

Has anybody ever had a rated or loaded case? In over 23 years of selling life insurance, I've never had a rated or loaded case. When I get a case where the acceptance comes through and the premium is higher than we originally quoted, I pick up the phone and say to my client, "John, I have fantastic news. You have been accepted on normal terms . . . for someone in your condition." Think about the power of those words just for a moment. Because isn't a rated or a loaded premium really the normal premium for somebody who has a particular medical condition?

The key to success with the power of words is to use positive language. I find that many advisors will say, "John, I'm really sorry. I tried my hardest, but the underwriter came back and put the premium up 50 percent. I hope that's OK with you." That usually leads to an angry response from the client. We must understand why, if we carry a negative attitude and use negative words, we should never expect our clients to deliver us a positive result. Instead, positive language influences the reaction, leads to a different response, and, hopefully, gets us the result we desire.

Another example of changing the words is when you are dealing with someone who is overweight. I never tell these clients that they are too fat or overweight to pass a medical. Instead, I tell them that, according to a chart of height and weight, they are under height! I explain that, according to the chart, they need to be 8 feet tall!

How about using creative words to increase our case size? After I have applied for some insurance and received the acceptance for, say, $100,000, I go back to the underwriter and I ask, based on the medical evidence we have received, how much more sum insured my client can have without any further medical questions. Let's say that the underwriter says, "I'll allow him to have up to $200,000." So I tell John, "I have some great news. You've been accepted for the policy you applied for, but I wanted to tell you that I've negotiated a very special deal for you. I've twisted the arm of the underwriter, who is willing to give you a policy of $200,000 cover without asking you other questions." I show John both premiums and another midway for $150,000. I tell him that he should take advantage of this opportunity. I say, "You don't like having to find the time to have a medical, and you know that you need more cover. If we try to increase it later, it will cost more, and you'll have to have another medical and you may not even qualify if your health has deteriorated.

My experience is that not everyone will say yes, but about one in three clients will. And, in many cases, they will take the middle one. If you could earn 50 percent more on every third case, for very little extra work, would that be useful to you? I did this recently with a very large case, where we applied for $5.25 million of insurance. The client was accepted, and I went back to him with additional premiums for $6 million and $7 million and said that he could have any of these with no more questions. He immediately said that it made sense and increased the sum insured to $6 million, which is an increase of $750,000 just for asking—that's like writing three new policies of $250,000 each without any effort.

Now, when we combine this simple idea with a loaded or rated premium, we could easily see our commission double.

These are things that make us stand out—doing things that others don't and things that the Internet certainly can't.

Here are a few quick-fire ideas of how I have used the power of words to influence reactions, responses, and results. I try to use alliterative language to explain products.

For example, I call life insurance a "financial cushion." It allows the family time to recover and cushions them from the financial fallout of the death of a loved one.

When I am talking about critical illness or disability insurance, I explain that life insurance is money for if you die. Critical illness or disability insurance is money for if you die a little bit.

I say, "As a financial architect, I need to tell you that insurance is the financial foundation to building your future financial home. You wouldn't build a home without any foundation, would you? It would be pretty flimsy. In your financial home, the walls are your savings and investments and your retirement planning is the roof. We must put the financial foundation of insurance in place; otherwise, this could simply collapse if a financial storm occurred."

I must share a true story of when we paid out a critical illness insurance claim to a young girl who was sadly diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. The claim was agreed; the only problem was that we didn't know whom to make the check payable to.

When I am selling universal life plans, I call them "umbrella plans." I explain that as long as you keep saving money into this plan, the insurance company will provide an umbrella over your life, such that if you died, or died a little bit, the umbrella will drop money into your bank account. It shelters you and your family from a financial storm. Eventually, when the savings plan exceeds the value of the umbrella, it will simply close itself as you will have created the wealth you wanted.

The power of words is all we have when we want to handle clients' objections. Ideally, of course, we have used the power of words so effectively already that we don't receive any objections. Before we explore some typical objections, we must understand how to use the power of words to handle objections, always remembering that it's about how we make people feel. This strategy means never having a fight but instead what I call "arguing elegantly."

Arguing elegantly involves a three-step process. First, listen to the objection carefully to understand the core of what the objection really is. Second, agree with the objection. Never, ever say, "You're wrong." Third, take back control, which means countering with questions or comments that could never be anticipated. I sometimes call this "reframing the client's question," and it will ideally involve some humor too. Let's explore this further.

For example, have you ever had a client say to you, "I don't believe in insurance"? This comment can easily lead to an argument. Instead, I say, "Yes, I can see why you might say that. So tell me, if life insurance were free, how much would you have—a little or a lot?" The client will reply, "Well, if it were free, I would have as much as I could get." "OK, so it's not that you don't believe in insurance; you just don't want to pay the premium. Let me show you how I can arrange it for free." I then explain how I could use, say, a universal life, which could return the client's premiums over time if he or she didn't claim, or an umbrella plan.

Have you ever had a client say, "God will take care of me"? First, I tell the client that I agree. I then add, "So who do you think sent me here today?"

We've all had clients who say that they will think about it. I tell them, of course, that they should, and that it's an important decision. I then say, "So tell me, have you got the date of your death in your diary? Because, if you have, then I'll make an appointment to see you again the week before. If not, then this is not something that needs to be thought about it; it's something that needs immediate action. You know, the only people who have ever called me to buy life insurance have been the people who just had a heart attack. I tell them that it's too late; they should have called me before they had the heart attack. And they reply that they didn't know that they were going to have a heart attack. In fact, 100 percent of heart attack victims don't know that they are going to have a heart attack, including clients of mine who said, "I'll think about it," and then called me too late.

Similarly, when they say, "I'll think about it," I ask them that if they had to do some repairs to their roof, would they do it while the sun was shining or when it had already started to rain.

I explain that financial planning is an ART; that is, it's about the Amount of money that you can invest, the Rate of return you can get on those investments, and the Time available to invest.

The problem is that one of those is running out and is beyond our control. We need to establish the amount that you can invest, and I can explain the rate that we can get.

A further example of the power of words to create value is what I say to my clients: "In our proposition to you, we have three components to our service. It could be cheap, it could be fast, and it could be good. However, you can choose only two out of those three. You see, if you want it cheap and fast, then you can't expect it to be good. If you want it cheap and good, then don't expect it to be fast. But if you want it fast and you want it good, then, by definition, it can't be cheap." And so simple language helps to position our business—that we will deliver fantastic value and it will be fast and good, but don't try to cut us down on the price that we will charge.

Another use of unusual words is when you have clients who just point-blank refuse to take out life insurance cover. They have to care about their family, and you've tried every idea, every concept, every strategy to convince them of the need to do the right thing, but they absolutely refuse. You now have nothing to lose.

This idea is, therefore, not the first thing you try but the very last thing you try and involves very few words to make a powerful impact.

I get an envelope and address it to my prospect's wife. On the back of it I write, "The contents of this envelope are very important and relate to your husband's life insurance. Please call me on receipt," and I write my name and phone number. I seal the envelope and mail it to the wife, who, when she opens it, will call me and tell me that the envelope has nothing inside it. "Yes, I know," I reply. "It's just that your husband refuses to buy any life insurance to protect his family, and so, if he dies, I'll be sending you another empty envelope. I just wanted you to get used to it!"

Now I have just set the fuse for an almighty argument for when he gets home!

In fact, I am unlikely to get the policy, but I'm happy in knowing that I have helped another agent somewhere.

I want to share you with an idea that I use almost daily, which has helped me secure large numbers of policies. It is a creative use of words to inspire an image in the client's mind.

When Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa, at the time that he created it, it was just a blank canvas and some oil paint. By the time he had finished it, the value of it was just the canvas and the paint; it didn't really have much value at the time. But what gave it value? What created the most priceless piece of art in the world? The answer is time, because over time, the Mona Lisa went from being a blank canvas splashed with some oil paint to become the most valuable piece of art in the world.

Isn't that a little like what we do with our clients when we create an insurance policy? We sell a piece of paper with a promise to pay, enshrined within a drop of ink. At the time that we give that to our clients, the perception is that it's just a piece of paper with some printed words, but it's time that will turn that piece of paper and those words into a financial masterpiece. Perhaps we ought to say to our clients, "I'm a financial artist. I create financial masterpieces for your family to treasure."

The next time you communicate with your clients, give extra attention to the words that you use and the emotions they create. And always remember that the power of words influences the reaction we get and affects the response we generate in order to deliver the results that we deserve.

Bhupinder S. Anand, ACII, Dip PFS, is a 21-year MDRT member with four Court of the Table and 16 Top of the Table qualifications from London, England. Anand has twice been named the U.K.’s Independent Financial Adviser of the Year and Best IFA in the Capital.