These are some things that I’m not hearing anyone talk about in terms of high-net-worth families and the use of philanthropy to reach them. We just landed a new, roughly $200 million client about six weeks ago. I’ll share with you the two key sentences that I use. That’s what brought in this new client.

My life goal is to facilitate $1 billion for philanthropy. We crossed $100 million in August of 2012. We are well on our way for our second hundred million. And if the Lord wishes Terry and me a long life, we’ll get to that billion and just keep going. A lot of times it’s come from just redirecting what I call involuntary philanthropy — income tax, capital gains taxes, federal death taxes — toward voluntary philanthropy, things that are in line with their own value system.

If you are going to talk about philanthropy and the importance of making a lasting positive impact in your world, you need to really believe that, and you need to show that. You need to show it because high-net-worth families can sniff it out inauthentic behavior. They can sniff it out in a minute.

For the longest time, I had a feeling that philanthropy was just for movie stars or Wall Street execs or maybe for the uber-wealthy or the save-the-whales types. But is it more than that? I would suggest, yes it is. Philanthropy is a fit for the everyday successful as well. And to back that up, let me give you a couple of surveys.

This survey was of North Americans. High-net-worth families were defined as having $5 million of investible assets. This question was posed to them: “How important is it that philanthropy be included in your planning?” And what would you say the percentage was of those who said it’s either urgent or extremely urgent that their planners include philanthropy in the conversation? Would you guess two-thirds? Sixty-four percent.

There was another study that asked what percent would be willing to change advisors if they could find somebody who would talk to them about their philanthropy. Thirty-one percent, one in three. Are we asking our clients about their philanthropic interests?

I’ve got another survey for you. How many advisors are actually asking their clients about philanthropy? They interviewed folks like attorneys, tax CPAs and so forth. They also interviewed over 100 high-net-worth families that they defined as having $3 million of investible assets or greater. And they found out some very interesting responses. First, do the advisors actually ask their clients about their philanthropy? Ninety-four percent of the advisors say, “Oh sure, we ask. Maybe, I think.” Eighty percent do routinely ask their clients, at some point, about charitable giving.

I’ve asked a lot of my attorney friends, and I’ve even done some coaching for other financial advisors and asked, “How do you bring up philanthropy in your conversations with your clients?” You know what they say? “Gee, do you have any interest in philanthropy? No? Oh, OK. Well, let’s move on.” That’s it. That’s pretty sad. I suggest to you there is another way of doing this. Sixty-seven percent of high-net-worth clients see advisors who do discuss it at some point.

But who brings up the topic of philanthropy? Well, 39 percent of advisors claim that they are the first ones to bring it up. Eighteen percent of the time they say it’s the client who brings it up. Who brings it up the other 43 percent of the time? According to high-net-worth families, 61 percent of the time they say they are the ones who have to bring it up because the advisors don’t. They say that advisors bring it up 6 percent of the time.

When to bring it up is just as important as who brings it up. This quote really got my attention: “We want it brought up in a meaningful way early in the relationship.” How early is early? Nearly one-third of high-net-worth families say they want it brought up in the first meeting, and 95 percent say they want it up brought up at least by the second meeting. I may not even be hired by that point yet, but trust me, we do bring it up in the first meeting. We have a very conscious process for doing that.

There has been a major shift in philanthropy and planning for our high-net-worth clients. It used to be about just giving away whatever’s left over after we take care of the family and this and that. Maybe we’ll give to the church or something else. If that’s where you are, get into the next paradigm. That’s not where clients are today. It’s about including philanthropy upfront.

I have some families who have three kids, and they talk about their fourth kid, which is their philanthropy, which is their family giving fund. I’ve got another client who has four kids and six trusts, one for each child, the family giving trust and then what I call a family legacy trust.

The three most important reasons why high-net-worth families give: passion, impact and the desire to give back. Anybody see anything in there about taxes? I grew up as a son of an entrepreneur. I was taught that we needed to give back because, as my mom said, “Honey, we’ve been given so much; it’s incumbent upon us.” Some of that’s being lost today. What did advisors say? The No. 1 and No. 2 reasons were tax benefits and the enhancement of the family name legacy, otherwise known as ego. Do you see the disconnect there?

One of my favorite questions is “What role does philanthropy play in your life?” And then just let them talk. This is in the first meeting. And then the zinger is “Do your estate planning documents reflect that?” There’s another science we get into about making sure that the estate planning documents reflect the family on a personalized basis.

Here’s one of my favorite questions: “If you had $1 million and you couldn’t give it to your family or you couldn’t use it for yourself, what would you do with it?” Do you know what the most common answer is to that question? I call it the glassy-eyed-stare response. If there’s a window, they usually look out the window. They look up at the ceiling and go, “That’s a great question. I don’t know.” Why don’t they know? No one’s asked them before. If we’re the first one to ask them, we get bonus points. But it is a little sad that no one’s asked them that question, and they may be worth $200 million.

The cool thing about this is that our high-net-worth clients want and expect us to bring up this topic to them. It’s a great way to learn what matters most to clients. What gets them excited in the morning is asking them about their philanthropy. Again, it’s no longer about what’s left. It’s about making it front and center in the planning for our clients.